I can’t believe my father. I spent all evening out on the lake because of him. I come back, and he still acts like I’ve done something wrong for not wanting to join the church’s summer soccer team. He knows I don’t like sports. He knows I don’t like church. He just expects me to bend to his will and do what he wants because he’s the “head of the household”. I still think the only reason he didn’t start the argument again when I got back was because my mother talked him out of it.
That was literally all I did after class: Half an hour of arguing with my father, five hours out on the water, and then back here to write these thoughts down. I had things I wanted to do this evening. I wanted to play some video games. I wanted to look around online. I wanted to make steaks tonight with my mom, which I have now missed because of this. Instead of doing all that, I spent the evening avoiding my father.
At least the lake was beautiful tonight. I probably would have gone out on the water this evening even if my father hadn’t flipped out on me. The water was so still. The way the sun reflected off of it as it slowly set, sending rays of purple, red, and orange across the lake was beyond description. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen something quite so gorgeous. For a little while, I could avoid thinking about my problems and just live. I could simply exist, and take in the vast wonder of creation as it was intended.
I actually caught a few fish out there this time around: two bass and a couple bluegills. I threw them all back. I wasn’t out there for dinner, of course. No, my dinner tonight was the apple and pre-packaged crackers I grabbed out of the kitchen while my dad raged about how I should become more of a man because maybe that’d get me a girlfriend. He doesn’t understand that isn’t what I want. I wish he could just open up his mind and listen to me for once. Instead, the instant I say something he disagrees with, he closes it like a trap.
…And now he’s yelling at me again.