A moment on the lake

School sucked today. Floyd continued his campaign of harassment. I don’t care what he thinks as long as he doesn’t touch me. He can say what he wants. He can call me gay for not having a girlfriend. That’s his choice. I’m not going to change because of him. I tried fitting in once before. Things only got worse.

I went out on the lake to cool down as soon as I got off the bus. Dad tried to drag me in for some bullshit, but I yelled that I was going fishing, kept walking to the dock, hopped on our boat, started the engine, and went out.

I love the lake. I love how calm and quiet it is out there. It’s just so completely still. There’s nothing around you except the sky and the water.  If there’s one thing I’m going to miss when I move out, it’s going to be my parent’s dock and boat. Is that sad, that I prefer the company of a boat to my own parents?

I can’t quite recall how long I was out on the lake. I didn’t catch any fish. I wasn’t really trying that hard. I just needed to be alone and get my head on straight again. I hate letting people get to me like that. I know I said I didn’t care, but it does hurt. It wasn’t so much the words so much as that I tend to get that reaction from everyone. I’m different from other people here, and, on top of that, I’m shy so I can’t just start talking to people to overcome that. I just wish I could react properly instead of being awkward.

I’m sure it’ll get better in the future. The universe has a way of righting itself and making things work the way they’re supposed to. This is just a rough patch. It just needs to end soon. Thank god it’s the weekend.

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